Sexual Healing With Womb Coaching PART 2
In this post I am going to talk specifics. Different ways that womb work can help facilitate sexual healing and ways you can practice this on your own.
I would like to preface this post with a reminder that experiencing trauma, no matter how recent or how long ago can change the body’s response to pleasure, self-worth and trust. If you are triggered by anything at any point or difficult emotions arise that you do not know how to manage, make an appointment with a doctor, counsellor, psychologist, or other mental health expert.
Let’s overview briefly what trauma is. Trauma can mean different things to each person and may not look like what you imagine. It can express itself differently in each body and can be from various life experiences whether violent or not, at any stage of a person’s life. Think of it in this way “Trauma is something that happens to you that makes you so upset it overwhelms you”- Bessel van der Kolk. Take a quick view of this short video and remember to practice self-care or reach out for help if you need it, “What is Trauma, The Author of The Body Keeps the Score explains”.
Now, imagine yourself laying in bed, warm, safe and feeling relaxed. Your hand rests lovingly on your lower belly and there is a deep feeling of energy, expansion, love and power within the space below your hand. As you breathe you feel that expansion growing, you feel the infinite depths of yourself and of life within you, apart of you, and all around you. You exhale with relief, knowing you are safe and you are cared for.
How does that sound?
Womb work invokes the knowing that we are loved as we are, cared for as we are and worthy of this without having to earn it from someone. It is inherent in our being. Oftentimes when sexual abuse or even a breach of our boundaries has occurred, this inner love and knowing gets lost. These techniques can help you to remember this inherent self-worth and aid in healing your sexuality towards a more fulfilling and whole experience.
Here are the first 3 techniques I have used to assist with my own sexual healing.
1. Womb Connection/ Sensing
Through meditations, energetic sensing, or womb connection you can foster the ability to sense your womb space, sense what it is telling you, what messages it has been trying to communicate to you and what it needs. What your womb needs is what you need. On a deeper level, below the surface, beyond the ego. Learning how to connect with your womb can take time, but we can do this whenever and wherever.
To start, if you have never tried this before, place your hand below your belly button. Close your eyes and tilt your head down. Breathe. Focus yourself down and deep. Do you sense anything? An energy? Maybe a visual comes up or a word pops up. Having trouble with it? As you breathe in, feel the expansion of your abdomen beneath your hand, feel the space open. When you exhale, feel the space go inward. Keep trying. At some point there will be a knowing, a sense, trust it.
Try asking your womb what it needs, and trust the response. No matter what it is. Then do it. Taking the action instills trust in yourself that you have the confidence and self-worth to follow through. This is the first step in returning to your inner knowing and building a foundation for healing.
2. Self-Pleasuring and Self-Touch
This doesn’t have to be to climax. Self-pleasuring helps you to learn about your body, your desires, perhaps even what stored emotions are blocking you. When we self-pleasure, we bring energy flow to our first and second chakras, our genitals, our womb spaces. We are activating the area, awakening energy, inspiring creativity, and confidence. Loving self-touch reminds us that pleasure is sacred and that we are loved. It isn’t about performing for a lover or how we look. It is for us.
Try this. Get comfortable, whatever that means to you. Close your eyes, begin to touch yourself. Stroke your stomach, the inside of your thighs, wherever it feels nice to you. Try it with soft strokes, slowly and with care. If your mind starts to jump in, gently focus on your touch, how it feels, and what you are wanting next. Follow your instincts.
If you feel you want to stop, then stop. If a particular area brings up difficult memories or emotions, take a breath and send love to the area. You can stop and place your hand on your womb, right under your belly button and breathe into it. Say thank you to your body and end there or continue if you feel comfortable.
3. Womb Wisdom
You know those intuitive hits? Womb wisdom is like that. Yet, it goes even deeper to the heart of things. It isn’t judgmental and you know it is right when you feel it. It can show up differently, in visuals, in words or sounds, in feelings or in a sense of just knowing, without reason. Your mind may try to confuse it, discredit it, or question it. Often, this is how I know it came from my womb. When my mind jumps in and gives me a bunch of excuses or judgements about it, yet it just feels right, and I know it.
Have you ever just known something? Known how to do something, known what the heart of the matter was, known what was behind the scenes, or between the lines? It can’t really be explained and likely (most of us) brush it off and continue on. But that knowledge came from your womb space, from connection to the Source.
Try this. Having to decide between things, what to do or how to respond? Hand on the belly (if you haven’t already gotten the pattern). Tilt your head down and ask yourself which of the options is right for you. One will come up first. If your mind jumps in with reasons why it is wrong, gently push that aside. State the response to your womb, out loud. (Yes I know that sounds weird, but just try it). Your womb will confirm.
For example, I was upset with someone and didn’t know how to tell them. I felt into my womb and got the words to explain it. My mind immediately came in and told me not to, “they will get mad”, “just leave it alone” etc. But I knew if I left it alone, I would be holding that hurt for no reason. I recited to my womb the words and got this satisfied sense that I needed to say it, to show that I respected and loved myself enough to state my boundaries. So, I did. The person got upset, but I didn’t. I simply stated my feelings on the situation, no name calling, no blame, no anger. Just a simple statement of how I felt, and it felt right to do so! Each time you do this, it gets easier.
Each time you do this, you are reinstating that you matter, that your feelings are important, that your boundaries will be respected. You build trust in yourself; you heal mistrust and fear and you practice confidence that will help to heal sexual trauma or wounds. Try the techniques above and let me know how they work for you.
Part 2 will be up next week, come back to learn about Power Exploration, Orgasms for Healing and Cord Cutting!
Enjoying this and want to work with a healer in a safe and caring space? Contact me to inquire or look at my services and packages here.
With love.